I'm in a long-distance relationship. And over the last two and a half years, I've had to endure countless flight delays. Rain or snow or shine, it never matters. Whatever the airline, it never matters. If I'm flying into La Guardia or Newark, there's a delay. Sometimes half an hour, often enough, two or three. And I've discovered that airlines are one of the few industries where it really doesn't matter how bad the service is. You are completely held hostage to whatever excuse they give you. There is zero attempt to make it up to the customer because, in the end, there is zero accountability. In the rest of the commercial world, if I buy a widget and the widget doesn't work or breaks down, I go to the store and get a new widget, or they fix the one I have. When the plane breaks down or the flight is delayed, I simply have to wait an indefinite amount of time to get where I've been promised they would take me -- after all, isn't that what airlines are supposed to do? But no, for these big monsters, you just a get a smile: have a nice and fuck you.
So, all this time, I thought airlines were the worst. But I was wrong.
This week I discovered wireless carriers are the worst. Specifically wireless carriers like Rogers that exclusively offer the iPhone. Let me explain.
Last week, my gym locker was broken into. My wallet, my watch, my keys, my pants, my iPhone: all gone. The credit card companies were sweet enough to get me new cards in record time: 3 days. So nice of them. But it goes to show that when it's in a company's interest to be of assistance, they are. There's really no incentive for Rogers to get me a new iPhone because I've already signed a 3-year contract with them. They know full well I (a) can't break the contract, and (b) can't get an iPhone somewhere else and go to another wireless carrier, because they have exclusivity in Canada -- well there's "competitor" Fido, owned by Rogers.
Which explains the dickishness I've had to endure for the last week. The day after my phone was stolen, I called Rogers and was told the best they could do was order me a new one because they're out of stock. How long to wait? Seven to 21 business days. No guarantees.
Next question: so could I get a loaner phone in the meantime -- any piece of shit will do -- until they figure out the laws of supply and demand? Nope. That's "not their policy."
So what am I supposed to do for 21 days (or maybe more)? Their dickish answer: Buy a phone. I explain to them that I'm all for that, BUT THEY DON'T HAVE THE PHONE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO SELL ME.
They don't care. Nothing they can do. I am without a wireless phone for the foreseeable future. The next day something dawns on me and I call Rogers back. Er, so during this iPhone purgatory, you won't be charging me my $120 in monthly wireless charges, correct? Answer: Yes, we will charge you. That's our policy. (Notice how they happen to have a policy for this!)
In the end, I've managed to borrow a hunk of shit Blackberry until Rogers sends me my new iPhone. But the bottom line is once again, accountability. I know Rogers isn't responsible for stealing my phone (-- or at least I hope not). But why not be decent about it? I spend $4,000 on various Rogers services every year. Wouldn't it be in their interest to throw me a bone? Apparently not because they are big and I am small. They have me my the balls and they know it. I'm a "valued customer" when they want something from me. But when I ask for something from them, I'm their bitch.
I know eventually I'll get my phone. What I won't get back is any respect for Rogers. Like loveless marriage I'll stick with them as long as I'm forced to. And the moment I can ditch them, they'll lose me forever -- at least until they call me back to tell me how important I am to their business.
Welcome to the real world of the "free market." Airlines move over. There's one level lower in capitalist hell.
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